More inspiration on getting organized together:

The Kitchen

We’ll start talking about household management with your spouse with regards to the Kitchen, as the kitchen is the center of the home, no matter if it is small or large.

You nourish yourself and your family from the kitchen, so it’s important that it runs well and that there is a lot of positive energy running through it.

There are websites out there that have become famous just for their instruction on how to polish the kitchen sink, namely FlyLady!

That goes to show you just how much a clean kitchen = sanity for many men and women. What can you do to keep your kitchen efficient and effective in nourishing both your heart and your mind?

  • Do the dishes everyday. This may seem obvious for many, but there are people who leave dirty dishes in their sink for days. Understandably, this means that you’ll be washing the dishes a lot- but there’s nothing like having the dishes washed. No need to dry them and put them away, just wash the dishes. If you do it at the end of the day, or every time you finish eating, you’re well on your way to the equation: a clean kitchen= sanity.

It’s also good to talk with your spouse about what he/she prefers to do with regards to the household chores.

Let’s use the case of washing the dishes- who is more “adept” in the kitchen? At cleaning it?

Of course both of you are perfectly capable in doing any or all of the household chores, but each person has their own strengths and will feel better if they can “choose” the jobs that they are good at doing.

It’s better to discuss who prefers to do what in advance, rather than waiting until chores come up and performing triage.

What happens in the case of household triage is that one person gets up and does the job to just get it out of the way, but what happens is that it is not done the way the other spouse prefers.

He/She is blamed and criticized for not doing the job well. And some of you will decide to leave your spouse completely out of the chores and daily household responsibilities, and just be responsible for bringing in income.

There is no one right or wrong way as long as each of you feels supported in your work, and can share your feelings and upset safely with your spouse when you don’t.

Better to plan in advance and discuss everything from opening up the mail to washing the dishes, to paying the bills to daily laundry and folding, and decide who does what. Let’s get back to the kitchen.

  • Get rid of unused appliances. We all have too many appliances that we don’t even use. A bagel slicer, single cup coffee maker, multicup coffee maker, hot water urns and kettles, donut pans, and bundt pans, smoothie and icecream makers, the list goes on and on. Take a look at your appliances and figure out the last time you used each one. The chances are, that with kitchen appliances, so many can do double duty- so your blender can double as your smoothie maker, and your baking pan can double as something else. Freeing up your space will make the fumbling in your cabinets happen much less and the frustration at not being able to find things, minimal to nonexistent.
  • Organize the pantry often. Because most of the food is kept in the pantry, it is first to get messy and dirty. Clean and organize it often so that you know what food you have, are able to cook and make dinners quickly (this matters when people get home and are hungry!), and are less likely to get bugs or other insects. You’ll be glad you did!

Household management can really tear a marriage apart. Clutter, chores, cleaning is a huge responsibility and it’s another issue that plagues couples. That’s why we include a free 4 part training called The Organized Couple inside of our Total Marriage Transformation Program. You can’t escape the chores and the tremendous responsibility of running the home but you CAN prevent it from tearing you apart! Enroll in The Total Marriage Transformation Program today.

Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online. Contact or