The number one problem topping our poll of readers’ relationship struggles was a lack of communication in marriage. Over several months, we asked couples to share their biggest challenges, and the most common answer was clear: communication issues¹.
The good news? If you’re struggling with communication, you’re far from alone.
The bad news? Without healthy communication, even the smallest issues can spiral into conflict, embarrassment, and long-term erosion of the marriage bond².
Why Communication Problems Hurt So Much
Research consistently shows that communication problems are one of the strongest predictors of marital dissatisfaction³. When couples can’t express themselves openly or listen without defensiveness, small disagreements can turn into recurring, unresolved conflicts⁴.
Poor communication often leads to:
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Increased misunderstanding and resentment
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Escalating arguments that rarely resolve
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Withdrawal or emotional distance between partners
How to Start Improving Communication Today
In our short podcast episode, Rivka interviews Shlomo for his insights on why communication is so difficult and how to fix it. You’ll also hear a personal example from our own marriage, showing that no one is immune to these struggles.
Some key points from the conversation:
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Identify triggers — Recognizing what sparks defensive or reactive behavior is the first step in change⁵.
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Shift from provoking to connecting — Avoid accusatory language and focus on expressing needs clearly.
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Practice active listening — Couples who validate each other’s feelings have stronger relationship satisfaction⁶.
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Use structured dialogues — Imago Relationship Therapy provides a safe framework for these exchanges, helping couples address deeper emotional needs⁷.
Communicating or Provoking?
Before speaking, ask yourself: “Is what I’m about to say meant to bring us closer, or push us further apart?” This self-check can transform tense conversations into opportunities for connection.
More Than Just Theory — Why Imago Therapy Works
Imago therapy isn’t just about communication techniques — it’s a deeply healing approach that helps partners uncover childhood wounds influencing their current relationship dynamics⁸. When couples learn to see each other’s vulnerabilities instead of just reacting to behaviors, communication shifts from combative to compassionate.
Key Takeaways
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Communication issues are the #1 relationship problem couples report.
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Poor communication leads to misunderstandings, unresolved conflict, and emotional disconnection.
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Skills like active listening, trigger awareness, and using structured dialogues can dramatically improve interactions.
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Imago therapy provides a safe, healing framework to rebuild trust and connection.
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Even therapists face communication challenges — but with the right tools, repair is always possible.
Sources
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Stanley, S. M., Markman, H. J., & Whitton, S. W. (2002). Communication, conflict, and commitment: Insights on the foundations of relationship success from a national survey. Family Process, 41(4), 659–675.
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Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
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Markman, H. J., & Rhoades, G. K. (2012). Relationship education research: Current status and future directions. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 38(1), 169–200.
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Driver, J. L., & Gottman, J. M. (2004). Daily marital interactions and positive affect during marital conflict among newlywed couples. Family Process, 43(3), 301–314.
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Tavakolizadeh, J., Nejatian, M., & Sohrabi, M. (2015). The effectiveness of communication skills training on marital conflicts and its different aspects in women. Procedia – Social and Behavioral Sciences, 171, 214–221.
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Rogge, R. D., et al. (2006). Is skills training necessary for prevention and relationship enhancement? Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74(3), 435–447.
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Hendrix, H., Hunt, H. L., & Hunt, H. (2005). Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. St. Martin’s Griffin.
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Hendrix, H., & LaKelly Hunt, H. (2007). Receiving Love: Transform Your Relationship by Letting Yourself Be Loved. Atria Books.
