There are varying degrees of an abusive relationship.  No abuse is acceptable and is an impediment to building a safe and loving relationship. While it is possible for abuse to stop, it is incumbent on the victim of physical abuse to put oneself out of danger and get safe. Verbal and emotional abuse can be equally as damaging and eventually spiral into physical abuse.

At the same time, it may be easy to stop this behavior. People can learn how to control their reactivity and the other spouse can also work on being emotionally safe. Many times in cases of verbal or emotional abuse, both people are provoking each other. If one is more volatile, it may lead to them exhibiting abusive behavior. Both partners must do their utmost to provide for a physical and emotionally safe environment. When we create safety, we need not get reactive and exhibit hurtful behavior.

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In terms of how to get out of such a relationship, if you feel you are in physical danger, get safe. Whether you are in a verbally abusive or emotionally abusive situation, if you wish to remain in the relationship, it is imperative to get help together to create a safer environment. If the other is unwilling to change, there may be steps you can do on your own to create more safety.

To learn how to STOP VERBAL ABUSE and communicate with no blame and no shame, take the 5 step Communication Training.


Get help now if you are in an abusive relationship.

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Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online. Contact or