It hurts to admit when your marriage isn’t working the way you hoped. Whether you’re drained by time/energy pressures or navigating something heavier—like betrayal or grief—there is a path back. The turning point for most couples? Admitting you need help and choosing the right kind of support—often a seasoned marriage counselor.¹
What Is Intensive Marriage Counseling?
Intensive marriage counseling compresses months of progress into a focused window—typically 4–6 hours per day for 2–3 consecutive days—so you can identify core patterns, repair safely, and practice new tools while momentum is high.² ³
Intensives can be:
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Online (from home)
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In-person (therapist’s office)
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Retreat-style (away from daily stressors)
Why it works: intensives combine structured dialogue, regulation skills, and therapist-guided repair with fewer interruptions, which strengthens connection and speeds up learning.¹ ²
Does It Work?
Yes—intensives can help even with infidelity, deep disconnection, chronic conflict, and anger when both partners are willing to engage.² Concentrated time lets you reach root causes and rebuild safety more effectively than sporadic, hour-long sessions.
Will It Work for Us?
If you’re motivated to try, open to feedback, and willing to practice between sessions, research and clinical experience suggest good odds of meaningful improvement.¹ ² If there’s active addiction, violence, or untreated severe mental illness, you’ll likely need stabilization first (see FAQ).
How to Choose the Right Counselor
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Credentials & experience: Work with a licensed specialist who routinely delivers intensives.¹ ⁴
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Method & fit: Ask about their approach (e.g., Imago Relationship Therapy) and how they structure an intensive.⁴
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Evidence & reviews: Look for transparent outcomes, testimonials, and clear aftercare plans.⁵
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Format: Decide whether online, office, or retreat best fits your needs and availability.⁵
Key Takeaways
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Intensity + structure = faster momentum and deeper repair.
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Effective even for serious breaches when there’s willingness to work.²
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Choosing a skilled, licensed specialist matters more than convenience.¹ ⁴
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Flexible formats: online, in-office, or retreat.⁵
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The first step—asking for help—is often the hardest and most important.¹
FAQ: Intensive Marriage Counseling
1) What happens in a typical 2-day intensive?
Day 1: assessment, goal-setting, communication framework, first repair dialogues.
Day 2: deeper work on core patterns/trauma triggers, boundary setting, and a step-by-step aftercare plan.
2) How is this different from weekly therapy?
You get hours of uninterrupted work with momentum, versus stopping after 45–60 minutes just as you’re getting to the heart of it.² ³
3) Can an intensive help after infidelity?
Often, yes. Intensives create containment for disclosure, empathy-building, and a concrete plan for trust-repair and transparency.²
4) Is online as effective as in-person?
For many couples, yes—especially with a structured method and clear tech setup.⁵ Choose the format that maximizes comfort and follow-through.
5) Who shouldn’t do an intensive (yet)?
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Ongoing violence, coercion, or active substance dependence without stabilization
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Untreated severe mental health crises
Stabilize safety first; a good clinician will guide next steps.
6) What if only one of us wants this?
Start with a consult. Often the reluctant partner agrees once they understand the structure (no blame/shame; practical tools; clear goals).
7) How fast will we see change?
Many couples feel a shift by the end of Day 1 (being heard, calmer conflict). Consolidation happens with aftercare in the following weeks.
8) What does aftercare look like?
A written plan with 1–2 skills to practice daily, boundaries, and follow-up sessions (e.g., 6–8 appointments) to protect gains and prevent relapse.¹
9) How do we vet a therapist?
Ask:
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“How many intensives do you run per month?”
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“What’s your structure for betrayal trauma/differentiation?”
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“What’s included in aftercare?”
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“Are you trained in Imago or similar modalities?”⁴
10) How much does it cost?
Pricing varies by clinician, location, and length. Compare not just the fee but what’s included (prep, hours, written plan, follow-ups).
11) Will insurance cover it?
Many intensives are out-of-network. Ask for a superbill if applicable; HSA/FSA may apply depending on provider and jurisdiction.
12) What should we do to prepare?
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Complete any pre-intensive questionnaires
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Sleep, hydrate, and plan childcare
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List 2–3 outcomes you want by the end of Day 2
13) What if it doesn’t “fix” everything?
No single intervention resolves everything. The goal is safety, clarity, and a repeatable process you can keep using—with aftercare to sustain gains.¹ ²
14) Is a retreat better than office or online?
Best is what you’ll show up for. Retreats remove distractions; office/online may be easier logistically. All can work with the right clinician.³ ⁵
About the clinician
Shlomo Slatkin, [LCPC], is a couples therapist and co-founder of The Marriage Restoration Project (TMRP). He specializes in Imago Relationship Therapy and intensive 2-day private retreats with structured aftercare. Over 20 years in practice, he’s helped thousands of couples improve communication, rebuild trust after betrayal, and create emotionally safe connection.
Sources
Halford, W. K., & Snyder, D. K. (2012). Universal processes and common factors in couple therapy and relationship education. Family Process, 51(4), 652–666. 2
Lebow, J., Chambers, A., Christensen, A., & Johnson, S. (2012). Research on the treatment of couple distress. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 38(1), 145–168. 2 3
Slatkin, S. (n.d.). A Deep Dive into Intensive Marriage Counseling. The Marriage Restoration Project. Retrieved from https://themarriagerestorationproject.com/a-deep-dive-into-intensive-marriage-counseling/ ↩
Hendrix, H., Hunt, H. L., & Luquet, W. (2015). Imago Relationship Therapy: Perspectives on theory. Routledge. 2
Anderson, S., et al. (2016). Effectiveness of online therapy for relationship problems: A systematic review. Journal of Technology in Behavioral Science, 1(1), 1–12.
