Hiring a marriage counselor is one of the most important relationship decisions you’ll ever make—and not all therapists are equally equipped to help. Many couples unknowingly choose a counselor based on location, insurance coverage, or availability, only to discover that the fit isn’t right or the results are underwhelming.
In this guide, you’ll learn how to choose the right marriage counselor in three simple but powerful steps—so you can avoid costly mistakes, feel confident in your choice, and get the help your relationship truly needs.
Finding a therapist can be challenging—finding the right couples therapist can feel even harder. That’s because not every therapist who offers couples counseling is trained to do it effectively1.
Couples therapy requires specialized skills and training that go beyond what most general therapists learn in their degree programs. Choosing the wrong therapist can not only waste time and money but, in some cases, even make things worse2.
Here is a podcast episode to listen to that can help you find the best therapist for your marriage along with three research-backed steps to help you choose a couples therapist who can truly help your relationship.
1. Research to Find Experienced, Licensed Couples Therapy Experts
Don’t just pick the closest therapist in your insurance network—dig deeper. Many therapists offer couples counseling without advanced certification in evidence-based approaches.
Look for therapists who:
-
Holds a license in professional counseling or marriage and family therapy.
-
Have specific advanced training in couples therapy models with proven effectiveness, such as Imago Relationship Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), or the Gottman Method3.
-
Can provide evidence of ongoing professional development in couples work.
Therapists trained in these methods tend to achieve better outcomes for couples because they address deeper relational patterns rather than just surface-level conflict4.
2. Interview Them Before You Commit
A therapist’s qualifications are important—but so is the fit between you and them. Research shows that the quality of the client–therapist relationship (often called the “therapeutic alliance”) is one of the strongest predictors of success in therapy5.
Before committing, ask:
-
What is your specific training and certification in couples therapy?
-
How do you approach couples where one partner is reluctant or ambivalent?
-
Have you worked with couples facing challenges similar to ours?
A good couples therapist should welcome these questions and provide clear, thoughtful answers. If you leave the conversation feeling uneasy, keep looking.
3. Explore Alternatives to Weekly Marriage Counseling Sessions
Traditional once-a-week therapy works well for some couples—but it’s not the only option. Short-term, immersive interventions can create faster breakthroughs for couples in crisis or at an impasse6.
Alternatives include:
-
Marriage intensives: 1–3 day deep-dive sessions with a licensed therapist.
-
Couples therapy retreats: A combination of education, communication tools, and private therapy in a concentrated setting.
-
Workshops: Group-based, skills-focused programs for couples wanting to strengthen communication and connection.
These formats often condense months of progress into days, helping couples address urgent issues before patterns become harder to repair7.
Key Takeaways
-
Look beyond location and insurance—choose a therapist with specialized couples therapy training.
-
Interview potential therapists to ensure both qualifications and personal fit.
-
Consider alternatives to weekly sessions if you need rapid progress or a deeper intervention.
-
The right therapist or format can be the difference between lasting change and frustration.
Sources
Footnotes
-
Lebow, J., Chambers, A. L., Christensen, A., & Johnson, S. M. (2012). Research on the treatment of couple distress. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 38(1), 145–168. ↩
-
Gurman, A. S., & Fraenkel, P. (2002). The history of couple therapy: A millennial review. Family Process, 41(2), 199–260. ↩
-
Johnson, S. M. (2019). The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Creating Connection (3rd ed.). Routledge. ↩
-
Gottman, J., & Gottman, J. S. (2015). 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy. W. W. Norton & Company. ↩
-
Norcross, J. C., & Wampold, B. E. (2018). Relationships and responsiveness in the psychological treatment of individuals and couples. American Psychological Association. ↩
-
Baucom, B. R., Atkins, D. C., & Christensen, A. (2015). Intensive behavioral couple therapy: A comparison of couple therapy delivered weekly versus daily. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 83(4), 547–558. ↩
-
Luquet, W. H. (2015). Short-Term Couples Therapy: The Imago Model in Action. Routledge. ↩
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:13 — 8.4MB) | Embed
