Congrats! You’re parents now. That’s a big and beautiful change in any couple’s relationship that can take some getting used to. We’re giving you and your partner 10 ways to stay connected when you have a newborn. Don’t worry, it gets easier.

Between the sleepless nights, division of baby chores, and dealing with all the needs of the newest member of your family, your relationship may end up taking a backseat to the baby. That’s normal. Keep in mind though in order for the baby to have healthy parents with a strong relationship, it’s vital for you to stay connected. This is so important for the strength of your commitment to your union that needs to become even stronger when children enter the picture.

A Strong Couple Equals a Healthy Family

Studies show that having a strong family structure can directly affect a child’s development. They have better behavior, social, and educational results as they grow up. So keeping connected to your spouse or partner is more important than ever. In order to stay a strong united front of a couple after becoming parents, there are specific steps you can take. Here are 10 ways to stay connected when you have a newborn in order to make your relationship a priority.

Connection Tip #10: Hold Hands 
This is all about the importance of physical touch. When you both are in constant contact with a newborn, your physical touch with each other can slip away. Remember to hold hands, steal a kiss in the kitchen, or just lightly rub your partner’s back as you walk by. Those little touches can add up to a more meaningful relationship.

Connection Tip #9: Ask How the Other is Feeling

Do regular check-ins with each other to assess how you both are feeling. Sometimes with everything the baby needs, it can be hard to ask your partner or spouse, something as simple as “how was your day?” It’s so important to ask these questions and really listen to the answer.

Connection Tip #8: Keep a Consistent Schedule

Having a consistent schedule is just good sense for the entire family. You as parents know what to expect on a daily basis and so does the baby. Having this consistency can help you better get into the groove of being a new family of three, which is great for your relationship.

Connection Tip #7: Exhibit Gratitude Towards Each Other

Saying “thank you” is one of the best ways to stay connected and not take each other for granted. Most couples don’t think to thank the other one for things they do all the time. Express your gratitude on a daily basis for even the little things. It helps both of you to feel appreciated.

Connection Tip #6: Schedule a Regular Date Night

It may sound trivial, but date nights work. Sometimes the parents of newborns struggle to leave the baby with a sitter when they don’t have family around. Find someone you trust and know that your newborn will be fine when you’re having a weekly date night.

Connection Tip #5: Keep Sex Alive

This can be one of the hardest tasks to accomplish, especially when sleep deprivation comes into the picture. Look for outside-the-box ways to keep sex alive. If that means scheduling intimate time, so be it. Morning sex? Try it! Having a healthy sex life is one of the most important ways to stay connected.

Connection Tip #4: Look for Ways to Be More Helpful

Each person can always look for ways to be more helpful in any relationship. This is especially true when a baby comes along.

Connection Tip #3: Have Some Alone Time

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Even an afternoon out with the guys at a football game or a yoga class with your gal pals will make you a happier person when you have a newborn. Scheduling that alone time will make you appreciate the time you are together more.

Connection Tip #2: Buy Little Surprises

This doesn’t have to be a big gift, but surprising each other with little tokens of your affection can be super meaningful. Bring your spouse a cupcake or flowers on your way home from work. This can definitely put a smile on the face of the parent that has been home with a screaming newborn all day.

Connection Tip #1: Put Away the Electronics

It can be tempting to fall into bed at night and zone out to your smartphone or tablet. When you are paying attention to all of your electronics instead of your spouse, it can become an issue. This is especially true with social media sites, like Facebook or Instagram. Pay attention to chatting with each other before bed, instead of dedicating your precious time to your electronics.


There’s nothing quite like the power of gaining clarity on a confusing situation. Complete the form below to talk with Rabbi Slatkin to see what he thinks would be best for you and your unique situation.

email application for consultation

  • Hidden
  • Hidden
    You will receive our free 60 Second Plan to a Happy Marriage, along with transformational emails that will help you with your marriage.

Jennifer Long

Jennifer Long is a writer, author, and multiple hat wearer with experience across many different industries.