Wondering how to keep your relationship strong after having a baby? Between sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and new routines, many couples feel disconnected in the newborn stage. That’s normal—but it’s also a time when your marriage needs extra attention. Research shows kids thrive when their parents stay connected. Here are 10 simple but powerful ways to nurture your relationship while adjusting to life as new parents.
Between the sleepless nights, division of baby chores, and dealing with all the needs of the newest member of your family, your relationship may end up taking a backseat to the baby. That’s normal. Keep in mind though in order for the baby to have healthy parents with a strong relationship, it’s vital for you to stay connected. This is so important for the strength of your commitment to your union that needs to become even stronger when children enter the picture.
A Strong Couple Equals a Healthy Family
Studies show that having a strong family structure can directly affect a child’s development. They have better behavior, social, and educational results as they grow up. So keeping connected to your spouse or partner is more important than ever. In order to stay a strong united front of a couple after becoming parents, there are specific steps you can take. Here are 10 ways to stay connected when you have a newborn in order to make your relationship a priority.
Hold Hands and Show Small Physical Affection
This is all about the importance of physical touch. When you both are in constant contact with a newborn, your physical touch with each other can slip away. Remember to hold hands, steal a kiss in the kitchen, or just lightly rub your partner’s back as you walk by. Those little touches can add up to a more meaningful relationship.
Ask How Your Partner Is Feeling (Emotional Check-Ins)
Do regular check-ins with each other to assess how you both are feeling. Sometimes with everything the baby needs, it can be hard to ask your partner or spouse, something as simple as “how was your day?” It’s so important to ask these questions and really listen to the answer.
Keep a Consistent Schedule
Having a consistent schedule is just good sense for the entire family. You as parents know what to expect on a daily basis and so does the baby. Having this consistency can help you better get into the groove of being a new family of three, which is great for your relationship.
Exhibit Gratitude Towards Each Other
Saying “thank you” is one of the best ways to stay connected and not take each other for granted. Most couples don’t think to thank the other one for things they do all the time. Express your gratitude on a daily basis for even the little things. It helps both of you to feel appreciated.
Don’t Skip Date Night—Even With a Newborn
It may sound trivial, but date nights work. Sometimes the parents of newborns struggle to leave the baby with a sitter when they don’t have family around. Find someone you trust and know that your newborn will be fine when you’re having a weekly date night.
Keep Sex Alive After Baby (Yes, It’s Possible!)
This can be one of the hardest tasks to accomplish, especially when sleep deprivation comes into the picture. Look for outside-the-box ways to keep sex alive. If that means scheduling intimate time, so be it. Morning sex? Try it! Having a healthy sex life is one of the most important ways to stay connected.
Look for Ways to Be More Helpful
Each person can always look for ways to be more helpful in any relationship. This is especially true when a baby comes along.
Have Some Alone Time
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Even an afternoon out with the guys at a football game or a yoga class with your gal pals will make you a happier person when you have a newborn. Scheduling that alone time will make you appreciate the time you are together more.
Buy Little Surprises
This doesn’t have to be a big gift, but surprising each other with little tokens of your affection can be super meaningful. Bring your spouse a cupcake or flowers on your way home from work. This can definitely put a smile on the face of the parent that has been home with a screaming newborn all day.
Put Away Electronics and Be Present Together
It can be tempting to fall into bed at night and zone out to your smartphone or tablet. When you are paying attention to all of your electronics instead of your spouse, it can become an issue. This is especially true with social media sites, like Facebook or Instagram. Pay attention to chatting with each other before bed, instead of dedicating your precious time to your electronics.
How do you keep your marriage strong with a newborn?
Focus on small, consistent acts of connection—like gratitude, affection, and scheduling quality time.
Is it normal to feel disconnected after having a baby?
Yes. The transition is overwhelming, but couples who stay intentional about connecting recover faster.
What if we’re too tired for date nights or sex?
Connection doesn’t have to be grand—physical touch, emotional check-ins, and little surprises keep intimacy alive even when energy is low.
How can I support my partner with a newborn?
Look for practical ways to help—take a night shift, handle a chore, or give them alone time to recharge.
Key Takeaways
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Staying connected after baby takes intentional effort, not just time.
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Small actions (touch, gratitude, little surprises) matter more than grand gestures.
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Consistency (date nights, check-ins, routines) creates stability for both parents and baby.
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A strong couple = a stronger family. Prioritizing your marriage benefits your child’s development.
Sources
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Lawrence, E., Rothman, A. D., Cobb, R. J., Rothman, M. T., & Bradbury, T. N. (2008). Marital satisfaction across the transition to parenthood. Journal of Family Psychology, 22(1), 41–50.
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Shapiro, A. F., Gottman, J. M., & Carrère, S. (2000). The baby and the marriage: Identifying factors that buffer against decline in marital satisfaction after the first baby arrives. Journal of Family Psychology, 14(1), 59–70.
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The Gottman Institute. Parenting and Marriage Resources.
