In our recent podcast on the topic of Adult Children of Divorce, Rivka shared that she feels that she is showing up as mom and as wife with an inherent lack of skills and resources.
Shlomo validated her feelings and acknowledged that divorce certainly does has an effect on grown up children of divorce, making it more difficult for these adult children of divorce to be a spouse and a parent.
On the other hand, he shared that for a couple where one of the partners are indeed an adult child of divorce, the positive effect of the impact of divorce may be that the couple is that much more motivated to make their own marriage work, moreso than of another couple!
The downside is, that this couple is so familiar with divorce that it may be less of a “taboo” for it being an option to exit the relationship. He/she saw their own parents leave, so in one sense, that adult child of divorce may be less committed when the going gets tough.
Every divorce is different; the messier the divorce, the worse the effect is or was on the grown up child.
Whatever your case may be, marriage is a vehicle for growth and healing, and you are not “damned” because of your past. You will need to put in serious work though to make your relationship successful.
Shlomo and Rivka also talked about their upcoming Getting the Love you Want Imago Weekend Marriage Workshops as a wonderful vehicle for strengthening the bond that you share with your partner, no matter what relationship stage you are currently in! The workshop is taking place on November 13-15, 2015 in Baltimore, MD. Call 443-570-7598 to secure your spot today!