“How do I get my wife to love me again?” is a question that comes across the minds of many a husband, especially when their wives are giving them the cold shoulder or the silent treatment. This marriage crisis may feel impossible to overcome and is definitely the “elephant in the room” if you’re walking around wondering all the time.
A Marriage Crisis Averted with A Simple yet Powerful Technique.
A few days ago I chanced upon a school picture of my son when he was five years old. Although he is only nine, he seems like a big boy and it is easy to get caught up in my frustrations with him that I forgot how he was just a baby not too long ago. When I saw that picture, I was aroused with compassion for that cute little guy and I was able to view my current relationship with him from a different perspective.
Apply my story to your Marriage crisis
Apply my personal “walk down memory lane” exercise to your own marriage crisis.
If you are in a bad space with your spouse, pull out your wedding album and remember the one you fell in love with.
Look at your spouse’s baby pictures and realize that your spouse was once a vulnerable little child. In fact, beneath that exterior which you may feel has caused you so much pain, hides that little child. Have compassion for his/her story and what it may have been like growing up. Begin to see your spouse and his/her behavior in a new light.
One of the powerful tools we teach couples in Step 4 (Acknowledge the Other) of our 5 step online marriage school, is to picture their spouse as a child. It helps us shift the marriage tension by gifting you with new-found compassion and empathy for your spouse. The new compassion and empathy that you now feel will help to enhance the connection that exists between the two of you-rekindling the flame, and helping you to answer your question of “how do I get my wife to love me again”.
Next time you are upset with your spouse, hold that picture in your mind’s eye of an innocent little one, open your heart and witness the shift you experience.
With best wishes for your relationship success,
Shlomo and Rivka Slatkin
P.S. For more information about how to fix your marriage, sample our Marriage School.