True story shared with us by a colleague about a husband and wife getting lost in a kiss after an intense marriage counseling session. (We just found out that the husband and wife featured in this wonderful story is a Glennon Doyle Melton with her husband Craig. Glennon is an author, speaker and the owner of a very funny blog, Momastery.com)
“This morning Craig and I were at marriage therapy talking through some tough stuff. After our marriage counseling session we felt grateful and emotional and so when the elevator doors closed behind us, we kissed. It was tender, hard-earned, real kissing. The kind of kissing you can forget exists for whole decades of your life.
And the elevator door opened. And there we were- all tangly and kissy and almost forty and suddenly staring at four surprised people: one elderly couple with canes and one thirty something pushing a man in a wheelchair. And we all just stood there staring at each other for a moment. My face turned hot(ter) and red(der). And then the elderly man suddenly said “HA!” and swatted his elderly wife on the fanny and she looked at him shocked and then she burst out laughing and then the lady pushing the wheelchair started CLAPPING at me and Craig and the elderly couple. She was just standing there wildly CLAPPING at us. And then the man in the wheelchair yelled, “WELL ALL RIGHT! GOOD FOR YOU GUYS!” at me and Craig. And Craig and I were STILL TANGLED UP.
And so then everybody burst out laughing except for me because I started crying, of course.
Because everybody recognizes hard earned love when they see it. And because everybody wants to have love and feel love and try love and resurrect love and celebrate love.
And because these little moments happen between strangers and you think: we are all exactly the same. We are all just EXACTLY the same. We’re all just trying to do love right. Trying to grab it when we see it. Trying to hold on. Every last one of us.”
We love when couples walk away from an intense marriage counseling session kissing and feeling completely connected again.
How many of us can relate to the story of the kissing couple that got lost in their pain and forgot about how connected they really were? All of us get caught up in our lives and busy-ness and the hurt that we forget the deep connection that brought us together in the first place. That’s why it is so important for couples to have connection, especially physical connection! For some people, physical touch is their primary way of feeling love. Even for others that aren’t “touchy” people, physical affection is still vital to their relational health.
If you’d like to know more about the benefits of kissing from a scientific and health perspective here are a few more, courtesy of Mercola.com and CNN.com.
- Kissing has been shown to boost your immune system and reduce allergic responses in people with skin or nasal allergies
- Kissing may also reduce blood pressure (by dilating your blood vessels), relieve headache pain, increase feelings of well-being and self-esteem, and strengthen your relationship
- People who kissed more often reported significant decreases in their levels of stress (by releasing “feel-good” chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin.) and greater relationship satisfaction
- Kissing has primal, biological roots, originating with kiss-feeding (pre-masticated food from the mother to her young), that helped babies receive nutrients after breastfeeding. This improved Digestion and made absorption of nutrients easier. (We couldn’t help including a picture of Rivka kissing our adorable 3 year old 🙂
- One study found that men who received a passionate kiss before they left for work earned more money. This suggests the kiss (and perhaps the happy home-life it suggests) makes people happier, boosts self-esteem and, ultimately, more productive at work.
- When you kiss, saliva production increases in your mouth, and this helps to wash away plaque on your teeth that may lead to cavities. That said, cavity-causing bacteria can also be transmitted via a kiss, especially if the person you’re kissing has poor oral habits. It’s even been shown that cavity-causing bacteria can spread from a mother’s kiss to her baby.
We want you to get to a place you can kiss each other more. If you’re just not there yet, please keep reading our marriage help material -both free and paid– so that you can fix your relationship and get it to a healthy, wonderful place.